


Imaginary

by LaughterWrites



Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, HLVRAI, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Slow Burn, imaginary friend Benrey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:01:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24873490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaughterWrites/pseuds/LaughterWrites
Summary: All kids have imaginary friends, Gordon knows that. He just wishes that his son's imaginary pal wasn't so involved. Or quite so corporeal.
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 50
Kudos: 280





	1. Day 01: New Friend

Working for a morally grey and soul-sucking institution has wrought havoc on Gordon's psyche for the last several years of his life. Being a high school physics teacher sucks. 

Being a teacher was one of the only options he had, though. After some questionable sexual choices with a then-girlfriend, Gordon ended up with Joshua, and his dream of being a researcher with a lucrative twitch streaming side gig washed away and were replaced by Josh’s bubbly laughter. 

Josh’s mom ran off with a flight attendant on a graduation trip. As a result, Gordon ended up as a (rather content) single father. Armed only with a monthly child support check posted from Belize and a really cool baby carrier, Gordon carved out a life for him and little Joshy. 

Joshua outgrew the baby carrier (and a lot of his clothes) by the time Gordon- or, Mr. Freeman, rather- got his teaching degree. The two of them moved into a cozy suburb and Gordon found a job as a physics teacher at Black Mesa Upper High School. A mundane life, maybe. But a happy one. 

Too bad little Joshy had to go and get an imaginary friend.

Joshua, an only child, has had several imaginary friends over the years. First was Clonk, then Joffrey, then Wayne. They came and went. Now that Joshua is almost five, he’s mostly grown out of imaginary friends.

“Hey, buddy,” Gordon says, peeking through the door to Josh’s room, “Are you ready to go?” 

Joshua nods enthusiastically and points to the floor. “Yea, I got ready extra fast today! My new friend Benrey helped me!” 

Gordon nods, and crouches on the floor where Josh is pointing. “I can’t see him, is he really really small?” 

Josh laughs loudly. “No! He’s big! He’s bigger than you, Dad! But he’s reall-y reall-y shy, so he went... he went ZOOP!” He shouts, throwing himself on the floor with another laugh. “‘Cept Benrey went right through.”

”Oh, is there a secret trapdoor in your room? Did he sneak out?” Gordon asks, scooping his son off the floor. 

Josh laughs again, shaking his head wildly back and forth. His long hair falls in his face. _Little man needs a haircut,_ Gordon thinks to himself, dropping Josh in his chair, which has books stacked on the seat so he can reach the table. 

”So, buddy. Whatcha’ wanna have for breakfast today? Fruit or toast?” 

Joshua slaps his hands on the table like a drum. “Toast with peanut butter! And uh.” He looks to the chair next to him and nods a few times. “Benrey wants toast, too! With lots and lots of jam!” 

Gordon nods, popping a piece of bread in the toaster and grabbing the peanut butter and jelly. Earlier in the week he had taped the two jars together to streamline the PBJ-making process but instead slowed the process down, since the cold pb needed time to thaw. Quite nearly a stroke of genius, though, after some fine tuning. 

The toaster dings while Gordon is pointlessly jamming a spoon into the peanut butter. In the dining room he can hear Josh reading one of his storybooks, every once in a while pausing to ask Benrey if he understands. The sound makes Gordon smile, and he turns to look at his son as he grabs the toast. For a split second, as he turns, he sees a shadow of a person move out of sight. 

Gordon blinks a few times and waves to Joshua, who looks up from his book to wave back. 

_Coffee._ Gordon thinks, _Its just because I haven’t had coffee._

Gordon pulls out a cutting board and cuts the toast in half. Josh usually eats a half-piece at most, and Gordon usually keeps the other half. He likes jam anyway, so making toast for “Benrey” won’t waste any food. He adds the pb to one half-slice, adds a lot of jam to the other, before taking the two pieces out to the table. 

Joshua cheers and starts eating his toast immediately. Gordon sets down the other piece in front of the empty chair.

”Hey bud, I’m gonna get myself all ready to go, and then I’ll have Benrey’s piece if he decides he’s not feeling too hungry, okay?” Gordon says. 

Joshua nods, his mouth full of peanut butter toast. “Ohkhay but I think Benreh is reallll-y hungry.” 

Gordon chuckles and walks back to his room to get dressed and grab his work computer and papers. When he walks back out, he’s surprised to find Josh in the living room with his backpack on instead of in the dining room.

”Hey bud, I haven’t made your lunch yet, can you take your pack off and give me your lunchbox?” 

Josh shakes his head with a big grin. “No dad! It’s okay! Benrey made me a lunch!” 

Gordon smiles, even though he’s a bit worried about what “Benrey” might have packed. “Okay, can I see what Benrey gave you? I’m so happy he is being helpful.” 

Josh nods and takes off his backpack. It’s a blue Magic Schoolbus backpack with Miss Frizzle on it. There’s a crayon drawing of a stick figure next to the Frizz. Josh explained at one point that the stick figure is his dad and his dad is married to Miss Frizzle. The memory makes Gordon smile as he crouches down to see what the imaginary friend put in the lunchbox. 

”Kiddo, this is all jello. You can’t have just jello.” 

Josh frowns. “But Benrey says he really really really likes jello. He has jello coming out his mouth like blarghhhhh!” He opens his mouth wide and gurgles for a few moments. 

”Haha. Gross, bud. How about I put in a Jello for you and a Jello for Benrey, but the rest of your lunch is normal food, huh?” 

Josh nods and runs over to the couch. “Cartoons!” 

Gordon flicks on the tv as he makes his way to the kitchen.

On his way over he stops at the dining room table, and frowns when he finds that the toast for “Benrey” is gone. He bends over to look under the table but finds nothing there. With a shrug he heads to the kitchen. 

After making lunch for Josh, toast for himself, and a pot of coffee, Gordon is very nearly running late. He holds the toast in his mouth while shoving Josh’s lunch- with two jellos- into his backpack. 

In his rush, it takes Gordon several moments to notice that the TV isn’t on Disney Jr., but instead the local news channel. 

”Ah, sorry bud,” Gordon says, flicking the TV off, “Didn’t notice that your cartoons weren’t playing.” 

Joshua shrugs his backpack on and hops off the couch. “Is’ okay, Benrey changed the channel. He wanted to know what’s goin on. He was lost for a long long time.” 

”Lost where?” Gordon asks, tugging Josh out the door and grabbing his own bag. 

”In a cave.” Josh says, matter-of-factly. “He got lost in a cave for years and years.” 

”Oh,” Gordon says as he puts Josh in his car seat, “Is Mr. Benrey a dinosaur?”   
  


“Nooooooooo-“ Josh says, holding the ‘O’ whole Gordon climbs into the drivers’ seat. “He’s cooler than a dino. He’s comin’ to day-school today, too.” 

Gordon nods, adjusting the rearview mirror to smile at his son. In the mirror, a man sits in the backseat. Dark hair swirls around his head like dye in water. A cracked and crooked smile shines against lifeless skin.

Gordon whips around. Joshua sits in his car seat, smiling at the empty seat next to him. Gordon glances back at the mirror. There’s nobody in the other seat.

He takes another sip of coffee and pulls out of the driveway. 

For the first time since Josh’s first week of day-school, Gordon is hesitant to drop him off. He knows that he’s just paranoid, that somehow the imaginary friend mixed with some anxiety or whatever and created. Visions? Hallucinations? Strange monsters? Despite his worries, he leaves Josh and heads to work. 

All day Gordon is unfocused, images of the man in the backseat swirling around in his head. He accidentally teaches his Introductory Conceptual Physics class the AP Physics lesson for the day. He doesn’t realize his mistake until two periods later. He’s never been so relieved to have a day end. 

Usually he would stay after school in his classroom for an hour or so, tutoring the kids who needed it, but today he told the small group of students that they’d just have to tutor each other because uh. His uh. His son is very sick and needs some. S. Soup. 

The workers at the day-school were surprised to see Gordon so early, and the one who supervised the sign-out told Gordon all about Josh’s ‘sweet’ new imaginary friend, Benrey. 

Gordon just nods, half expecting her to mention that, for just a moment, she thought she saw Benrey.

Of course she doesn’t say that. 

Gordon straps Josh into his car seat with a quick glance at the other spot in the backseat. 

”Hey Josh, where’s Benrey right now?” 

Josh thinks for a moment then points up. “He wants to be up. Like a Christmas tree!” 

Gordon smiles and nods. “That doesn’t sound very safe, bud.” 

Before he gets in the car, Gordon glances at the roof of the car. No Benrey. He breathes a silent sigh of relief. 

Besides the incidents in the morning, the evening is relatively Benrey-Free. Gordon has to make a plate for Benrey during dinner. (which does disappear when he’s not looking, but Joshy probably is just getting a bigger appetite) He reads two bedtime stories, one for Josh and one for Benrey (and thinks he hears a deep chuckle at one point in the story. Probably just the house settling.) 

Once Josh is in bed and asleep, the evening is Gordon’s. Kinda. He has to grade. Scantrons for every test would be so much easier if he didn’t have to grade the work, too. 

Flipping through the assignments he finds a few have notes written in shiny blue ink. Complete nonsense like “Poggers” or “That’s some cringe science, bro.” 

Gordon pinches the bridge of his nose and runs a hand through his hair. He’s gonna have to have a serious chat with a couple of his TAs, it seems. 

He falls asleep at the dinner table while halfway through grading a short answer explaining Ohm’s Law. 

He dreams. 

It doesn’t feel like a dream, but it feels _wrong._

Gordon sits at his teacher‘s desk. In front of him, at one of the student desks, sits the man who was in the car, “Maybe-Benrey” Gordon calls him, in his head. 

”Just Benrey, bruh” the man says, voice sounding muffled and gravelly. Colorful bubbles float out of his mouth as he speaks, floating to the ceiling and splashing there, staining the crappy popcorn ceilings. 

There are no popcorn ceilings at school. Gordon is back in his house. He’s sitting on the couch with the remote in his hand. On the TV, Benrey is eating paper after paper after paper. 

”Hey. Come on. Don’t do that. Those are my students’ tests.” Gordon complains. 

Benrey stops chewing the papers and looks up to meet Gordon’s eyes. “You uh. Don’t needta. You know, you don’t needta look at the papers. I can help. I’ll help you.” 

Gordon shakes his head “How do you. Wash your hair?” 

Gordon is sitting cross legged in his bathtub. Benrey is in the sink. “What. Hair is cringe and dumb and for whiny piss people. I’m not people. Not any kinda people. Do you have a passport?” 

Gordon shakes his head. “No. Jo-Joshey has one. He visited his momma in Belize once.” 

”Sucks to suck” Benrey says with a grin, as the world seems to fall from beneath Gordon’s feet. 

”I don’t think I trust you.” Gordon says to the man as he falls. 

Benrey shrugs. “You won’t.” 


	2. Day 02: Civil Conversation

Gordon wakes up drenched in sweat. The sweat isn't the weirdest part, though. Gordon wakes up in his bathtub. Light streams in from the bathroom window. His head hurts, maybe from the porcelain, maybe from his restless sleep. 

He pushes himself up with a groan and ambles into the hallway. The hall clock reads 7:30. 

"Fuck..." he mutters under his breath. "Hey Joshie!" he calls down the hallway as he walks to his son's room. "Hey bud, we're running la- oh." 

Josh is already dressed, wearing a blue shirt with a dog on it and some striped shorts, sitting on his bed with a big grin on his face. "Benrey's playing hide and seek!" 

"Did- how long have you been awake, buddy?" Gordon asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. 

Josh shrugs. "Iunno. Like... coupla minutes? Benrey woke me up!" 

"Did Benrey find you clothes, too, little man?" Gordon asks, electing to ignore the visions and such, and just treat Benrey like any of Josh's other imaginary friends. Benrey is just a bit more... involved. 

Josh nods. "Yeah! Benrey's really silly- he said that... that some of my shirts are... they're wack! Wack wack wack!" 

"Ah. he sounds mean, huh? Let's get you some breakfast, mkay?" 

The morning routine goes normal, if a bit rushed. "Benrey" doesn't make a reappearance, not even as a shadow in the corner of his eye. Gordon nearly sighs in relief when he makes it all the way to the Black Mesa High without incident. 

During third period he receives an email from the superintendent that he's about to ignore, except that it comes with a calendar attachment. Gordon groans out loud as he opens it, and the dates apply themselves to his calendar. Stupid technology. Stupid calendar. Looking at the new events, they're a set of all-staff meetings, one after school on Thursday and another on Friday. The subject is listed as "New All-District Safety Protocols". Boring. Boring boring boring. 

He has lunch with the bio teacher, Dr. Coomer, and his student teacher, Tommy. Tommy excitedly talks about how his dog Sunkist had puppies, and they're all so cute, and would Mr. Freeman or Dr. Coomer maybe want one? Or two? 

Gordon is about to decline, but he is suddenly reminded about "Benrey". Maybe the new friend is... a sign that Josh needs more company. He sighs and agrees to take a puppy, maybe he could come by sometime this weekend? 

Tommy smiles so wide, Gordon almost wishes he had said yes sooner, since it made him so happy. 

_Haha. Fuckin- what are you? some kinda. Some kinda simp? Lmaooooo_

Gordon takes a sip of coffee and ignores the voice in his head. 

Lunch ends before Gordon expects it to. The final bell seems to ring right after that. Time flies, or whatever. 

Gordon gets into his car. He adjusts the mirror, and jumps when he sees the man in the backseat again. 

He nearly whips around but something freezes him in place. He stares at the man- Benrey- in the mirror. The two of them stare for several moments, eyes locked, one terrified, the other impassive. Benrey's inhuman aspects seem glaring, suddenly. His hair moves, even as he stays still. His eyes sit deep in his face, shadowed by the strange, moving mass of hair. His skin is ashy, dead-looking, and his mouth is just slightly too big for his face.

His clothing, however, is nearly normal. Normal work slacks. A button-up and tie, with a waistcoat over them. Across the waistcoat's front is a string of symbols that seem to shift and change as Benrey's hair does. Maybe his clothes aren't... really all that normal at all. 

"Please... don't hurt my son..." Gordon manages to choke out. 

Benrey looks surprised for a moment but then- infuriatingly- he just shrugs. "Gonna cry?" he says, voice strangely garbled, like a long-distance landline call. "Gonna go 'Ah pweeease Benwey~ don't hurt my babyyy boyyyyy'? haha. You're- You are so lame." As Benrey talks, blue bubbles pour out between his teeth, floating towards Gordon. "Go... drive. We're gonna go pick up little Joshie, okay? Heard. Somebody said he had a real poggers day today. Really rad." 

The bubbles float over to Gordon and stick, slowly seeping into his clothing. Suddenly his body starts moving on auto-pilot, preparing to drive away. "What..." Gordon starts to say, suddenly realizing he can't even turn to glance at the thing in his car. "What did you fuckin do?" 

"No need to curse, buddy. Bucko. Pal. Bro. I like bro. Broooouuuughhhh. We are bros now, Gordon." Benrey's voice seems to come out clearer when Gordon isn't looking at them. Benrey continues talking. "Uh. I just uh. Made you a bit sweeter. You're a rude-y, bro. Hafta sweeten you up." 

"What do you _want_ from us," Gordon says between gritted teeth, as his body drives to Josh's day-school. 

"Huh?" 

"What do you _want?"_

"Iunno... h... Oh wait. I want... let's make a stop before we get Joshy. I wanna macnuggies."

Gordon's anger falters. "You want...?" 

"Some fuckin' macnuggies, dude. Munch munch. Gettin' all person shaped and visible and junk makes a homie hooooongrey." 

Gordon doesn't reply, too caught up in his own head. He pulls into line at a McDonald's drive through. 

_I'm being haunted by a demon who wants mcDonalds and talks like a high school boy._

_Huh? Don't be stupid, I'm not a boy_ Benrey's voice says in his head. 

"Get out of my head!" Gordon shouts. 

"I'm sorry?" the McDonald's worker replies through the speaker. 

Gordon opens his mouth to say something, but just as soon as he starts to form words, Benrey's pale hand snakes out from the backseat and clamps over his mouth. 

"Yeah can we get uhhh three 10-pieces of macnuggies and a uh. Conk of cola. and. uh. whatever sauces you're vibin. whatever sauces speak to you."

The order pops up on the screen, 10 pc x3, Med. Coke, sauce.

"Woah sick, love the tech." Benrey says, his free hand starting to reach towards the screen. Gordon pulls forward before Benrey has a chance to do anything else to freak out the poor highschooler working drive thru. 

"Booooo" Benrey groans, digging his nails into Gordon's cheek, "Bruh I wanted to touch it." 

As Gordon pulls up to the first window, Benrey's hand falls away from his mouth. Gordon still can't turn to face him, but glares at his image in the mirror. The side of Benrey's mouth twitches into a smile. 

The girl at the window smiles as Gordon pulls up. "Hi! Will you be paying with cash or card today?" 

Before Gordon can answer, Benrey does. "Uhhh... Nope." 

"...What?" 

A yellow bubble floats out of the backseat and hits the girl's forehead with a resounding _thonk._

"Ah. Okay." She says with a dazed smile. "Please pull forward to the second window." 

Without his permission, Gordon's body pulls the car forward. "What did you do to her?" he hisses at Benrey. 

"...Hwhah?" 

Someone at the other window hands Gordon the bag of nuggets and the coke. He takes them, but still can't turn his head. As soon as he pulls away from the McDonalds, Benrey grabs the bag. Gordon continues driving. At a stoplight, he glances in the mirror to look at Benrey. 

He's holding the cardboard nugget box like a sandwich and taking bites out of it. 

Gordon keeps his eyes on the road. He lets his body drive on autopilot, too dazed by the whole situation to really care. He doesn't even glance at Benrey in the mirror until he gets to Josh's day-school. 

"You'd better be gone when I get back. Josh doesn't need nightmares." 

Benrey pulls out another box of nuggets and takes a bite. "...Wha?" he says, mouth full of chicken and cardboard. "You don' get ta boss me 'round. I wanna see lil Joshey." 

"Fuck you." Gordon says, getting out of the car and slamming the door. Even once out of the car, Gordon realizes he can't turn his head. "Damn." he mutters under his breath. "Wasn't freaky ghost brain powers. I just messed up my neck. Great." 

"Notta ghost!" Benrey shouts from the car. Gordon ignores him and walks into the day-school. 

As soon as he walks in, two of the carers look at him, then each other, sharing a worried look. Josh isn't in the room. Before Gordon can ask, one of the carers, a woman whose name tag says "Teacher Molly" walks over, a stressed smile plastered over her face. "So great to see you Mr. Freeman! Uh... Josh had a bit of an uh... an accident today?" 

"Oh. Did he need new clothes, or uh- is he hurt?" 

Molly shakes her head, holding her hands out defensively. "No, no! He's fine, he just-" 

As if on cue, Josh runs in from the other room. "Da-aaad!" he says with a grin, "Dad look what Benrey did!" 

Gordon can't help but look. Josh's hair is cut shorter all around, cropped pieces sticking up at odd angles. On the top of his head, a few chunks are pulled into a rough ponytail. 

"Oh- uh-" Gordon starts. Joshua's smile falters. Seeing this, Gordon shakes off his worried look. "It uh... it looks great, buddy! Looks great. Maybe this weekend we can uh... get a pro haircutter to style it extra cool for you!" 

Molly seems to breathe a sigh of relief as Josh's grin comes back in full force. Gordon picks up his son and fills out the sign-out sheet, and leaves the school. 

Walking to the the car, he can't see any sign of Benrey. With a sigh of relief he sits Josh in his carseat. In the backseat is a single box of nuggets and an empty cup with a large bite taken out of the sides. 

Joshua grins and kicks his legs when he sees the McDonalds box. "Nuggets?" he asks. 

Gordon sighs and nods. At least Josh gets some nuggets. The ride home has no sign of Benrey, just low volume pop music on the radio and the sound of Joshua happily eating chicken nuggets. 

When they get home, Gordon sits his son in front of the TV and cleans the trash out of the back of his car. The bubbles from Benrey's mouth made warm, sticky circles where they hit the back of the front seat. Gordon tries for nearly twenty minutes to scrub off the nasty residue but to no avail. 

When he finally gives up and goes back inside, Josh has moved to sit on the dining room table. Gordon is, honestly, barely fazed at this point. 

“Joshie, whatcha doing up there?” He asks, picking Josh up and setting him on the floor. 

Josh shrugs. “Benrey says that sitting on top of stuff is cool.” 

“Is- Is Benrey here right now?” Gordon asks, trying to keep the fear out of his voice. He wouldn’t admit that he’s relieved when Josh shakes his head. 

”Nooo, he said he was hungry and hadta go eat. Even though I gave him three whole nuggets! Still hungry!” 

Gordon nods and tries to smile. It probably comes off as a grimace. “Do you want anything else to eat? I was gonna make pasta for dinner but if you’re full of nuggets then that can be dinner?” 

”I’m all full! I ate lotsa McDonald.” 

Gordon smiles and ruffles Josh’s hair. “Alright. I have to make a phone call, can you play by yourself for a while?" 

Joshua nods. "Yeah! Maybe Benrey can play, too!" 

Gordon holds back a comment about staying away from Benrey. _Its not real,_ he tells himself. He ignores the loud, laughing voice in his head. 

Gordon goes to his bedroom and sighs as he flips open his phone and punches in a number. 

"Hey, Dr. B, you still in the office?" 

"Gordon! Don't call me Dr. B, that's not very respectful you know." 

"I'm not calling you Bubby, doc. It was funny when you told my son that was your name, but I need to have a serious conversation." 

Dr. Bubby groans for several seconds. "Fine, Gordon. What seems to be the problem today?" 

Gordon pauses and takes a deep breath. "How do... how do I tell if I have schizophrenia?" 

"Have you been on WebMD again, Gordon? I've told you before! The site is shit! It's shit!" 

"No, I haven't, I just uh. I keep seeing this man but... there's no way he's like... real?" 

"Hm..." says Dr. Bubby, "Have you considered that maybe you're just gay?" 

"This isn't a joke, doctor. I think I got too stressed or maybe my students have been feeding me psychedelics-" Gordon hears the sound of keys clacking on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing? Don't put this in my file or whatever, just, help I guess?" 

"No. I'm looking this up. Google, Gordon! It's the 21st century!" 

"You're a doctor!" 

"They can't teach us everything, Gordon! They have to pick and choose!" The clicking of keys continues. " _Patient keeps seeing men..._ " Bubby mumbles. 

"That's not-" 

"Is the man you're seeing named Charles?" 

"No...?" 

"Congrats, Gordon! You don't have any syndromes! You're cured!" 

Gordon snaps his phone closed. 

"Stupid fucking... stupid cheap health insurance," he mutters to himself. 

"M' notta hallucination, ya know. You're not trippin' or whatever. You are gay though, haha. I'm all deep in your subcon... subconsh... your deep head. haha head." 

Gordon jumps when he hears the voice. Turning around he sees Benrey, for the first time looking directly at him, not through a mirror or out of the corner of his eye. "You again. You're not real. You can't be real." 

"If you think I'm a freakin... brain thing? How about I like... tell you stuff you don't know?" 

Gordon snorts, leaning against his bed. "God... now my hallucination is omniscient." 

"Huh?" 

They stare at each other for several beats. 

Gordon blinks at Benrey. "You... know everything? Holder of all universal knowledge?" 

"No I just like to watch those uh... '10 things you didn't know' youtube videos." 

"What... what are you even supposed to be?" 

Benrey groans, sitting on the floor. "Bro... at least do the sexy version of 20 questions. I got it, I'll go first because you suck. So bud, you a virgin? Huh? You a little virgin pee pee boy?" 

"What. What even-" Gordon rubs his eyes and groans. "What fucked up part of my subconscious..." 

"M' not omniscient. Not even really in ya deep thoughts. There. My turn. What happened to the kid's momma? Did you steal it? You're way uglier than him lmao." 

Gordon groans. "Did you really just say lmao out loud." 

Before Benrey can reply, Josh bursts into the room. "Benrey!" he shouts. "Found you! Now you gotta count! But I said already, Dad's room is not allowed." 

Benrey waves 'bye' to Gordon as he starts to follow Josh out of the room. 

"Wait, wait!" he calls after them. "Wait, Josh, you see him?" 

Josh glances at Benrey then back at his dad. "Yea! He's big!" 

Gordon just stares at the two of them. "Ah. Maybe. Maybe you shouldn't play with Benrey anymore today, kiddo. Gotta uh... get you ready for bed." 

Benrey remains impassive as Gordon carries Josh to his bedroom and closes the door. A few moments, Gordon walks back out. 

"Get out of my house." he tells Benrey. With a slight frown, Benrey fades away, from his feet up to his head.

His voice stays a moment longer, "m'kay." 

When Gordon falls asleep that night, its dreamless. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized too late that most kids go to "Preschool". The kid I babysit (4 y/o, same age as Josh) goes to a jewish "day school" so that was the only word I could remember. I'm rolling with it at this point.
> 
> Also I cut it out later, but at first benrey did tell Gordon a fact. It was that Tetris was the first videogame ever taken into space.


	3. Day 03, Day 04, Day (REDACTED)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gore warning. If you want to skip it, just go from "DAY 04" to "DAY ??" (those labels are bolded). I'll explain what happened at the end.

He wakes up in his bed. The red digital clock on his wall reads 80:08. 

He puts on his glasses. It still says 80:08. He opens up his phone. The home screen clearly reads "Boob". He groans and googles "What time is it?". 4:20 am. Gordon groans. 

A laugh echoes through the room. "That last one was right, I promise. Go back to sleep now, please?" 

"Go away, Benrey." 

"Please? Please? Go sleep?" Benrey says, his voice fading out. Gordon goes back to sleep. 

He's awoken by his alarm clock blaring, on time, 7:15. 

He wakes up Josh, gets him ready, all without any really bad Benrey-related incidents. Gordon makes an extra bowl of cereal for Benrey, and this one ends up empty and on top of the fridge. 

Before Joshua climbs into his carseat, he reaches into the front passenger seat, reaching for the seatbelt. Gordon grabs the buckle and hands it to Josh. 

"Thanks, dad!" he says with a grin, clicking the buckle into place. "Gotta keep Benrey safe." 

"I thought Benrey liked to sit in the back seat?" Gordon says, eyeing the empty passenger seat warily. 

"Nah," says Joshua, "Benrey is all grown up. He wants to sit in the front seat." Joshua climbs into his carseat and lets Gordon buckle him in. "Hey dad, can Benrey drive me to school?" 

"Absolutely not. No. Benrey, if you're listening, do _not_ drive this car." Gordon replies as he sits in the driver's seat. 

Once at the day school, Gordon drops Josh off and takes one of the teachers to the side. "Hey, uh," he mutters, "Could you keep an extra eye on Josh today? I'm worried about his new uh.. his imaginary friend." 

The teacher, already trying to wrangle two toddlers, just nods with a dismissive "Sure, Mr. Freeman."

As Gordon sits in the front seat, Benrey fades in, sitting in the passenger seat. He has a hat on this time, a baseball cap that Gordon can't read. It hides his strange shifting hair. His face seems less grey, too, but also... cakey? Fully materialized, Benrey starts pulling the seat belt out as far as it will go and letting go so it whooshes back in. 

"Mornin', Feetman." 

"Morning, Benrey. Why are you here?" 

"Important work today, bro. Thought I'd like to carpool with my good pal." 

"We aren't pals. What's with the hat and the... is that makeup?" 

Benrey grins. "Aww babe, you noticed? Wanted to be all pretty. I have an interview today." 

Gordon snorts. "Yeah, right. What's the real reason?" 

Benrey's grin falls. "I'm not- why would I lie to you, dude? I'm staying with you now I gotta- gotta pay rent and stuff." 

Gordon stops hard at a stop sign that he almost didn't see, distracted by Benrey's words. "You don't live with me. Stop... pestering me and my son." 

"I don't- no, don't say that, bro" Benrey says, looking at his torso, which has started to phase through the seatbelt. "Gotta do my job. Gotta complete the tasks. I don't always wanna but- its like- I have to. You should get a playstation." 

Before Gordon can reply to any of that, Benrey phases away entirely. Gordon smiles to himself _._

The day at school is calm, no sign of Benrey. Picking up Joshua goes smoothly, except that when Gordon arrives, Josh is crying. Gordon has to carry him across the parking lot. 

"C'mon, bud, tell me what's wrong?" 

"Ben-' he hiccups, "Benrey was _gone_ today." 

Gordon tries to hold back the grin that threatens to spread across his face. 

That night is dreamless. 

**DAY 04**

Gordon wakes up to the blare of his alarm. 

No Benrey. 

No Benrey at breakfast (though the extra piece of toast still disappears), no Benrey in the car on the way to day school, no Benrey at day school. 

He makes his entrance after Gordon drops Joshua off. 

"Hi, Benrey."

"Hi, Feetman," Benrey says, uncharacteristically curt. He's back to his usual look, hair moving around him, more stiff than usual, with the movements that are usually fluid seeming jerky and sharp. 

"Go away, Benrey." Gordon says without taking his eyes off the road. 

Benrey stays, looking at his hands, which sit clenched in his lap. 

"Go away! Did you hear me? Go-" 

"Not how it works, bro," Benrey says, "I like to leave when you say, be polite, but I'm your escort righ' now." 

"Escor-" 

Suddenly, a crushing weight seems to force Gordon forward. He sees Benrey's face, impassive as ever, but with a whisper of concern on his lips. Gordon feels a sharp pain in his chest, a crushing pain in his hand. It all takes a second, or maybe an hour. Gordon feels... calm. Everything is okay. He blacks out. 

The world fills itself in behind closed eyes. Dark red and orange, disgustingly organic. Sitting in the middle of the pulsing space is Benrey, much larger than Gordon's ever seen him. Gordon looks down at his own body, though the way it looks now, it doesn't look like his body. He looks like he's been through hell. 

_Is this hell?_

"Almost." Benrey replies, his voice echoing through the space. "I dunno though. This is my home. Or... it was? But I live with you now. Well, I live with Josh. I think you're gonna die." 

"Die? What... I don't want to die?" Gordon is dazed. He looks down again. His chest isn't shaped right, it's pressed in all wrong, ribcage twisted around. Blood oozes out in slow motion, dark spots slowly forming and appearing on his clean, ironed work shirt. His right hand is twisted out of shape. He tries to move it but it seems to be trapped, somehow. "Am I going to die? Did you kill me?" 

Benrey slowly shakes his head. "I didn't kill you, you were going to die either way. I'm here because... Joshua summoned me. Kinda. On accident." 

"You... summoned. Demon?" Gordon feels like he has to force every word out. 

"Huh? No. Imaginary friend." 

"I wanna live... Joshua..." Gordon says, watching the blood spread across his shirt. "Joshua..." 

Benrey moves closer to Gordon, getting smaller as he does. By the time the two men are face to face they're the same size. Benrey gently cups the side of Gordon's face. "Wanna kiss." 

"Wh..." 

Benrey smiles, his teeth too sharp, his hair too alive. "Maybe sit down? Please?" he says, already guiding Gordon to sit on the ground. The floor is too soft, too wet, and seems to pulse around him. 

"Please... need to live... my son... don't kill me." 

Benrey sits across from Gordon, resting his face on his hands. "S'okay. I'm gonna take care of Joshua. Thas' my job. Gotta take care of your shit son while you're busy being dead." 

Gordon grabs his right hand with his left and tries to force it back, back into place, but it won't budge. The bits and pieces won't go where they're supposed to go. This isn't right, this isn't right. Gordon looks at Benrey again, his vision blurred with tears. "No... I need... I need to be there... need to... Josh... he's my son..." 

"Alright." Benrey says, seemingly focused on cracking his knuckles. "I can do that. Letcha live and have your son and whatever." 

The tears seem to well up faster now, and through the haze that clouds his mind, Gordon feels relief. "Please, please, I can't die." 

Benrey reaches into the pulsing, damp ground and pulls out a stack of rough papers. They look old, like relics in a museum. The paper is thick and visibly course. 

"Read it?"

Gordon can't focus his eyes. He shakes his head. 

Benrey shrugs. "Your loss." 

Carefully, almost tenderly, Benrey takes Gordon's left hand and holds it up towards his mouth. He opens his mouth wordlessly, but somehow Gordon knows what to do. He presses a finger against one of Benrey's sharp teeth. A bead of blood starts to form, and Gordon allows Benrey to guide his hand to the paper. A small voice in the back of Gordon's hazy mind is screaming at him to leave, to escape, to accept death and force this being, this 'Imaginary friend', to leave. The voice isn't loud enough. As soon as the droplet of blood hits the page, the papers seem soaked in it, dark red staining every page. Benrey drops the thick stack of papers, allowing the ground to swallow them once again. 

Before Gordon has even processed the contract (was it a contract?) that he just signed (Sorta), Benrey is moving again. He is silent but intent as he pulls apart Gordon's shirt. Gordon's mind seems to clear up immediately when he sees just how bad his injuries are. His chest has a massive hole, bone and skin pushed in by an unseen force. Benrey reaches into the wound, carefully and precisely pulling and pushing pieces around. He is gentle, which seems strange to Gordon. It's like he's apologetic. Gordon lets him work. His mind seems to be working again but his body doesn't hurt at all. Everything is confusing. 

It takes a while for Benrey to finish working, muttering to himself and blowing the sticky bubbles into the wound. When he does finish, he sits back and looks at Gordon, a satisfied smile plastered across his face. "Now m' notta doctor. At all. But I did pretty well. You should uh. Buy us a playstation for this."

Gordon traces his left hand over his chest. Where moments ago he had a deep puncture in his chest, now there are criss-crossed scars, white lines that dance across. Distantly, it reminds Gordon of Benrey's hair. His mind seems like its fogged over again, as the shock from seeing the wound wears off. 

"What about... what do we do about my hand." Gordon says, staring at his misshapen right hand. 

Benrey looks too, his satisfied smile falling into his usual blank expression. "Wish you'd read the contract, bro." 

Gordon frowns. "So my hand has to stay all... like that?" 

Benrey takes Gordon's arm in his hands, pulling the sleeve back to the elbow. He puts both hands on Gordon's arm, and Gordon is distantly aware of how Benrey's hands seem... longer than they did before. Sharper. 

The hell-looking world starts to fade away. Gordon is happy to see it go. 

"Wish this didn't have to happen," Benrey says softly. 

As the world slips away, Gordon watches as benrey's fingers start to saw through his forearm. His blood oozes out slowly, and he tries to scream, tries to beg Benrey to stop, but he can no longer hold onto that space. 

His vision finally cuts out, but not before he sees Benrey holding his arm with an apologetic look on his face. 

**DAY ??**

It's too bright. 

Gordon's eyes open and he immediately closes them again. Too bright. 

"Joshua..." he mumbles. His lips are chapped. His throat is dry. 

He wiggles his toes, and is satisfies when he can feel them move against a blanket. Next, he tries his fingers. 

Success on the left hand. 

No response from the right. 

He forces his eyes open, looking around for his glasses. They're nowhere to be found. The word _crash_ registers in some part of his mind. He looks down at his right arm. From his shoulder down to his elbow are stark white bandages. Past his elbow is... nothing. He tries to raise his arm but a sudden shock of pain races down his bicep. he lets his arm fall with a groan. 

A nurse rushes in a few moments later. He smiles and starts talking to Gordon while fiddling with things on the table next to Gordon's head. The nurse is talking almost too fast for him to process. 

"-And you were really lucky, Mr. Freeman, if that pipe had gone any further through your windshield it coulda crushed something important. Not to say your hand isn't important but-" the man says, his smile not faltering as he prepares something on the table. 

"Joshua." Gordon says, his voice raspy. 'Where's my son?" 

The nurse-Gordon reads the name 'Darnold P." and "Resident" on his name tag- holds a dixie cup towards Gordon's face. "Drink the magic potion, Mr. Freeman!" Gordon takes a sip. 

"My son-" he tries again. 

"No worries," says Darnold, throwing the cup away. "Josh is with his emergency contact from the form you gave the preschool." 

"Oh, good," Gordon mumbles, feeling tired. _Josh always likes hanging out with his grandparents,_ he thinks. 

"Yeah, youguys must be really good friends. he has brought Joshua in to see you almost every day! Oh, shoot what's his name..." 

Gordon feels himself start to drift off. 

Distantly as his body shuts down, he can hear Darnold speaking. "Oh right!" Darnold says, snapping his fingers. "Benrey!" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 04 recap: 
> 
> Gordon got in a car crash after dropping Joshua off at his day-school. After he passes out, Benrey appears in a dream-like vision, explaining to Gordon that he will die, but Benrey will take care of Josh. Gordon pleads to live, and Benrey relents, setting forth a contract, which Gordon signs without reading. 
> 
> Benrey fixes the fatal injury to Gordon's chest but leaves Gordon's badly hurt hand. When Gordon asks about the hand, Benrey tells him that he should have read the contract. Before Gordon can fully react, Benrey removes his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> click the links, binch: 
> 
> [my tumblr](https://sucrefemme.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Read my [other HLVRAI fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24849886) if you want a similar thing.  
> Leave me a comment if ur feeling sexy <3


End file.
